Here’s my story…
Back in…2011 or 2012 (I can’t remember!) I completed my Beginner and Advanced Deposession and Curse Unravelling at the Pendle Hill Quaker Centre in Pennsylvania. I think it was around this time of year, early spring, although I remember leaves on the trees and bullfrogs in the pond. But everything was fresh and new and there were huge rainstorms almost every day.
Although Deposession and Curse Unravelling are old hat now, at the time I was totally freaked out. I was scared, uncomfortable, out of my element, and wanting to be anywhere but there. Why did I sign up for this?? I remember collapsing at the feet of my teacher saying “ I can’t do this! Get me out of here!” She just calmly looked at me without batting an eye, and said “Beth just focus on what you CAN do, and stop thinking about all the things you can’t.”
She probably knew every excuse in the book not to do this work.
Pendle Hill is a beautiful sanctuary in the middle of the city. It’s the size of a university, complete with a fully equipped art studio that anyone staying there could use. They had a donation box for supplies. That became my deepest inner sanctuary. Every day before class, probably around 5AM I would go to the studio and paint. My nervous system was so on fire that all I could do was breathe and make heart shapes. This act helped me get back into my body and find my courage to keep going. One day at a time. I began to put my finished heart paintings on the communal altar and so a little Heart display grew by the day.
Half way through the course, the big guns showed up. Students who had studied before and came for refresher or to deepen their practice. The place felt grounded with all these powerful women psychotherapists and shamans who knew the ropes. I also grew in courage as I learned more and more each day. And my early morning heart paintings kept me in my body.
Since that time, when I am challenged in my own life, I reach for this practice. It steadies me and keeps in embodied. It also helps me focus on what I can do, not what I can’t.
What's Behind A Heart Painting
Apr 5, 03:38 pm
Under the Moon’s Enchantment
Aug 31, 12:37 pm
I am sitting down to write on Thursday morning still under the strong influence of the full moon (which is why I’m drinking blue waterlily tea). I had a terrible sleep, waking up all night with every fear and anxiety that the night could throw at me. My north node is in Pisces, my destiny is in Pisces. Why are we so afraid of our destiny? I know one reason, because we don’t know what it is. It’s totally unknown so therefore it could be terrible. Better play safe and hide from it. That’s the old paradigm talking. That’s the dark inner fears and illusions of the psyche who still remembers witch burnings like they were yesterday talking.
When I was a teenager in the 80s I was drawn to witchcraft, like many young women are today, except it wasn’t common at all. In fact tarot reading had just recently been legalized (thank you Z. Budapest!), and we were still very much in the dark ages. I kept all my experiences quiet. But when I was 20 I was able to get my hands on a book by Laurie Cabot, a Celtic witch, which allowed me to learn and practice in a good way. I still have that well loved and worn book.
Nowadays witchcraft is popular and everywhere, like astrology, tarot, and yoga, there has been a boom in the esoteric arts and it has developed into a multi billion dollar industry! Wow, in my lifetime. But also in my lifetime we have experienced a massive species and habitat decline that is putting the world in a very dangerous place. Many of the books, websites, movies, online courses, thought leaders, and influencers of witchcraft are focusing on empowerment (at best), which is indeed the first step…getting our power back. But now we have to turn our minds towards what we do with this power.
Witchcraft is rooted in nature, it will not exist in a technological world. The sci-fi futuristic world of robots, flying cars, and controlled weather, is not the world of witches. And because the world of witches is the world of animals, plants, trees, and stones, it is also the world of humans. The witch world is the elemental world, which is everybody’s world whether we realize it or not.
In my more mystical moments I would say that the witches are coming back. All the ones who died in Europe are finally awakening again through us because they are our ancestors, and they are here for a reason. Witches are the healers, the caretakers, the stewards of the earth. They are the shamans, the magical thinkers, the ones in relationship with the living universe. They keep our world in balance and harmony. And they are greatly needed now. Because the world of flying cars, robots and genetically engineered nature, is not a human world.
Something that I’ve come to understand over the many years of study, is that witches are very normal people. In fact they are the MOST normal people because their cellular memory is very old. They aren’t as hypnotized by modern culture. The real ones aren’t anyway. Most of what I read in current life coaching, manifesting, and self help teachings is strait out of the Wicca books of the 80s and 90s. It’s the same, (called spells) just without nature and the gods and goddesses…which means it’s the same but without the sexy juicy fun and without real power. Who wants that!!? Forget it. That’s not life. I’m not here for a watered down pre-digested version of life, I’m here for the real messy wild imperfect divine thing! That’s life, that’s witchcraft.
The Joy of Weather
May 31, 11:01 am
Weather Dancing for Beginners
With the current fires happening in Nova Scotia I’m starting to hear people speak of weather dancing. In my 40s I spent 8 years working closely with a shamanic weather circle in Maine. I would like to share with you some key practices so perhaps you might feel empowered to develop a strong and reciprocal relationship to the Spirit of Weather. This will then feed into a larger consciousness of balance and harmony on the planet. These practices are safe and ethical and some I learned in the training and others I learned from my own helping spirits.
Number ONE message my weather spirits taught me:
1. If all humans on the earth learned to breathe properly the weather on this planet would go back into balance.
-a proper breath practice is one where we find stillness and presence in each breath. Our diaphragm expands on the inhale and releases on the exhale. The breath is even, smooth, and continuous. A 4:4 breath, or a 5:7 breath are both good counts -no need to hold on either end.
2. Weather is our friend. It is alive and has consciousness. It is here to keep the planet from burning up and provide all creatures with clean air. Weather is out of balance because WE are out of balance; it is trying to fix our messy lives. It is a reflection of how we are behaving, what kind of thoughts we have in our heads, and our chaotic emotions.
3. When we unconsciously try to alter weather, we are bringing chaos into the larger field. When we consciously try to alter weather, we are changing the whole system. So if we call in rain, we might be causing a drought somewhere else. Therefore we REALLY have to know what we are doing and understand ethics and larger systems. When in doubt work on the Self and bringing harmony, happiness and joy to your own life.
What you can do.
See that weather is alive and has consciousness. See weather as you would your best friend, or a beloved child or pet. Would you force it to behave in a certain way? Change when it suits you? Conform to your will? Give you everything you want when you want it, and offer nothing in return except insults when its not doing exactly what you want it to? Or do you ignore it and avoid it when it’s not perfect for you? Obviously not. So check in to see how you speak about and to weather, and how you treat it. It HEARS you! Just like the earth hears you. How are your treating weather?
Weather, like any conscious being loves praise, connection, love, admiration. It loves to be loved for all aspects of its personality (rain or shine!). It thrives on appreciation. You can’t call in rain to put out a fire and then 2 weeks later curse it for raining on your outdoor party. Always give thank you and blessings for all of weather no matter what your personal preferences are. You can court rain, even ask for it as long as long as you don’t then push it away afterwards -a friend won’t stick around if you behave like that!
If you are courting rain, make sure you are loving yourself and bringing your own body and mind into harmony and balance first. If you are not in inner harmony you will just be sending fear and chaos out into the greater field and messing things up even more. If you can’t bring yourself into harmony, it would be better if you just sat down on the earth with your breath and cultivate self love, than try to call in weather. Know your limits and your abilities. Less is ALWAYS more.
Rainy things everyone can do:
Offer a daily bowl of water to the land -place it somewhere where birds and insects can enjoy too (place a stone in the middle so insects can crawl out).
Write a rain poem or make a rain painting.
Donate money to local nature groups who are working to protect the forests and wetlands. Without trees and wetlands we will loose our rain.
Don’t cut down trees.
Do garbage clean up near water -bring a bag to the beach to pick up garbage.
Appreciate beauty of all weather.
Don’t curse fire.
Speak praises to the weather when you are out in public -if someone complains about the weather don’t absentmindedly agree with them, just offer a compassionate perspective.
Advanced Work
If you have a grounded spiritual practice and would like to call in rain, here are a few ethical things you can do: Feel rain inside your own body and mind. Be rain. Love rain like you love the sun, dance and sing praises to rain alone or with friends. Be vulnerable not commanding or controlling. Work with your compassionate spirits always. Never work alone.
in closing: Weather is an excellent way to learn about your own mind, behaviour, and emotions. It is our beloved teacher and friend.
Novembers New Moon
Nov 23, 08:30 pm
I want to write on my blog more. That’s it. I have more to say, and with SUCH A BUSY practice, I find little time to write anymore. But this moon is special. Not only is my Neptune in Sagittarius but my moon and Jupiter are in the 9th house and the sign of Sag is in my 11th house -the house of wishes come true. So after such an intense Scorpio eclipse season I’m due (we’re all due!) for some joyous wishes coming to fruition.
Astrology is a passion of mine. It began as a way to try and understand my blocked energy and contradictions. In the process I discovered me -what is truly me and what was a program that was in the way. I began to understand where to put my energy and focus. You can too. Whether you book a consultation with me or take the time to figure it out on your own (although I highly recommend booking with me!) you will gain so much from learning to read your own chart. Nothing is more accurate than astrology. When I add shamanic healing, flower essences, energy work, and tarot to the cauldron, a most amazing Alchemy takes place.
It is such an enchanting time right now. This life. There is so much potential for awakening the spirit and transforming the soul. The tools are in our hands now and we need to use them wisely. We all have much more power than we realize. So as we incubate on this new moon, awaiting the rebirth, what is it that you want to bring forth in the world and your life? Take some time right now to write about that. Make a wish. Take your wish to the wind, sea, fire, or earth. Speak it to the elements and pray that it come from the highest wishes for the planet. We are evolving together and we need each other to use our brains to uplift the collective.
Blessed Be
What a Spiritual Calling Looks Like
Jun 3, 01:16 pm
What does a spiritual calling look like? I’m sure if you googled this question you’d get many intelligent systematic breakdowns of the details and steps of a spiritual calling. (Breakdown being the optimum word!). But I didn’t google it. I want to share my experience and perhaps a snippet of the many stories I have been privileged to hear over the years. So if this topic interests you, read on and dig deeper!
Most of the time in western culture, we grow up in a world that denies the soul, and the expressive qualities of soulful people. I think all children are in touch with the imaginative soul, but some might be particularity inclined to moodiness, sensitivities, animals, music, art, and nature to name a few soulful indicators.
Sensitive children usually have to develop strong defences in order to survive through family and school life. These defences might look like substance addictions, perfectionism and obsessions, trying to do everything right, people pleasing, or being overly nice. These and other survival skills will get them where society expects them to go for a little while. It’s only when they are older that cracks begin to show and these walls start to break down. This can show up any time, but a big surge will be around the age of 28 during the first Saturn Return. The pressure of keeping the soul locked down is too much and the soul always wins, as it is infinitely stronger than the ego because it is not time bound. Those who fight the soul will experience more and more physical and emotional stress problems throughout their lives; the soul may be stronger but the ego is stubborn because it is fighting for its little short life. Saturn wants us to live though our soul, (all the planets do) and it will shake up our lives terribly if we are straying too far from our true calling. If the ego wins this round, people may develop anxiety illnesses and could resort to prescription medications to stay in line.
My Saturn return was such a shake up and my symptoms were so intense, I wasn’t sure if I was fit for this world. It was during that time that I reached out to a force higher than myself and said those timeless words “show me what you want me to do.” It was very soon after that my first healer showed up, I went to my first yoga class, and met my first shamanic teacher. Things had gotten pretty bad as I had been in serious survival denial during my 10 years of university in my 20s. My soul was having none of it, and since I didn’t have kids or a regular job, I didn’t have to hold some ego structure together for anyone else (but I did fight anyway). But the fight is exhausting and so I began to slowly surrender to my soul.
Since then I have seen many similar experiences with others: intense emotional pain, life not working out, schizophrenic like behaviours, major physical accidents, illnesses like cancer, substance abuse, and an overwhelming creative longing to live differently. In a shamanic calling these episodes can also be accompanied by shocking experiences of the other world such as visitations by the dead or frightening clairvoyant moments (this was my experience and many others). Such experiences can take a person out, and that is exactly what they are trying to do. But then what?
Well, if you need to stabilize, you may choose to go on medications to normalize your system, but remember that this won’t take the calling away, it just numbs it out for a while. The soul is smart and it will come back for you. Thank goodness we are made this way. Because like it or not, we are meant to live from the soul not the ego. The ego is the helper of the soul -the passenger, supporter, and nurturer. The ego helps the soul take flight in the normal world.
Living a soulful life doesn’t mean that you have to give up your family and day job, unless your job is soul killing! But it may ask you to change a lot about who you thought you were. This is a good thing. I love this topic so I’m going to write more on it in the future.
In short, a spiritual calling is usually quite bumpy and difficult. If you resist, it will get more difficult. Something is being asked of you. Something you can’t know about until you take the first step towards it. Its asking you to surrender and be OK with not knowing.
Perhaps your first step is taking a yoga class or going to a homeopath to get your health figured out like mine was. It may also look like taking a shamanic class to venture deep into soul territory. I am opening up my year long practitioner training until June 20th. If this sounds like it might connect you to your calling, please read more on my events page and get in touch. I’d love to talk with you! Everyone should have the chance to answer their soul and right now my practitioner training is at a very good price!